"Sean Stephenson is a hero to me. When you read his book, he will be a hero to you as well. His moving stories about himself and others who have found the gifts in their pain will teach you so much about courage and, just as important, you will learn how to build your own sense of confidence when it comes to health, career, relationships, and more. Do yourself a favor read this book! "
— Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., author, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway® and Embracing Uncertainty

EXTENDED REVIEWS...

***From MindConnection.com:

This book has endorsements from big names ranging from the business literature (Ken Blanchard) to the self-help gurus (Susan Jeffers). The back jacket has a quote from former President Bill Clinton ("Sean is an amazing person with an important message"). Tony Robbins wrote the Foreword.

At this point, I could probably end the review because when those movers and shakers recommend a book what more do you need to know? Just get the book. Ah, this is a "but" situation! "I could write a review but" with those endorsements from such successful people...." The "but" situations we encounter every day can have far more profound effects than missing the opportunity to review a book of this caliber.

Sean's style is one of encouraging and prodding, but he's not a rah-rah guy. He's a realist. According to brain researchers (see my other reviews of brain-related books), reality is largely what we make it. The brain filters and repackages information before the conscious mind sees it, largely based on preconceptions and what it "ought to" see. The brain is, essentially, a predictive computer and it will predict based on what it perceives rather than what it senses. That is, it makes its own reality. This fact has only recently been verified in the neuroscience field (physical brain studies) but has long been a fundamental premise on the motivational lecture circuit.

Why is Sean a realist instead of a cheerleader? After all, anyone who is successful on the lecture circuit has it made, right? Classic silver spoon, right? Not right.

Years ago, I learned about a rare disease thanks to the movie "Unbreakable" (came out in 2000, starring Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson, and Robin Wright Penn). In this movie, Jackson's character (Elijah) has extremely brittle bones. The movie has several flashback scenes that give us insight into what Elijah's life was like growing up. The movie starts off with his birth; he's born with broken bones.

Sean has that rare disease, and was born with broken bones. His condition makes his life very complicated. He didn't come from a life of ease, but has had to overcome enormous obstacles. He's now a PhD and licensed psychotherapist. He's completing a second PhD (clinical hypnosis). He's an internationally known professional speaker.

And he's three feet tall.

Reading this book, I could not help but feel a strong connection with Sean. He comes across as a person who just wants to help others. He makes his message simple and clear, but at the same time he helps the reader dig into complex challenges.

This book consists of seven chapters, a foreword, an epilogue, and a resources area.

The Foreword by Tony Robbins was very touching and helped me understand what an amazing person the author is. As I have a high opinion of Tony Robbins (whose critics have been forced to eat crow due to discoveries in brain science over the past few years), his endorsement means a lot. He didn't just throw out a few platitudes and empty praises. He made a point of explaining why Sean's book is a "must read." Tony "brings to life" what he's saying, through specific examples.

Chapter One. Born to Kick But: The Short Story of a Big Life. This is an autobiographical sketch. Here, we learn about Sean's childhood, the challenges he faced, and the object lessons he learned. He introduces us to his core philosophy: cause and effect. It's not a new concept and thus it's not something he made up to attract an audience. I've understood this concept for a very long time, but Sean helped me see it with greater clarity.

Chapter Two. Lesson 1: Start Connecting. There's a huge difference between merely communicating and actually connecting with others. I'm not a fan of President Clinton, but the man is an expert on connecting with people. In this chapter, Sean lists "Ten things I learned about connection from President Bill Clinton." Sean knows Clinton personally, so this isn't an armchair observation kind of thing. This chapter has lots of great information for anyone frustrated with relationships (business or personal).

Chapter Three. Lesson 2: Watch What You Say to Yourself. This gets into the traditional inner dialogue stuff, but takes it up a notch or two. One of the things Sean communicates here is your word choices can have a transformational effect (or not, if they are poor choices).

Chapter Four. Lesson 3: Master Your Physical Confidence. You can usually spot a person who has self-esteem issues, can't you? And why is it some people seem to dominate a room, even if they aren't the best-looking, best-dressed, or loudest person in the room? Sean explains why and what you can do about that.

Chapter Five. Lesson 4: Focus Your Focus. As I type this, I have a painful thumb infection. Guess when it hurts the most? When I'm thinking about it! In this chapter, Sean delves into such things as changing your focus from what you don't have to what you can be thankful for. He talks about directing your mind toward what you want to achieve rather than letting your mental powers drown in a pity puddle.

Chapter Six. Lesson 5: Choose Your Friends Wisely. Sean uses the metaphor of a pit crew to illustrate the differences between A Friends, B Friends, and C Friends. He explains that you can choose your pit crew. Avoid the takers, drainers and destroyers. Re-channel that energy into cultivating real friends. Since there's confusion over what a real friend is, Sean makes this clear.

Chapter Seven. Lesson 6: Take Full Responsibility. Either you own your situations, or they own you. When they own you, it's not good. Sean has a simple formula for understanding how to be in control: C > E. That is, cause is greater than effect. He explains how this works and how it can liberate you. As mentioned earlier, Sean is a psychotherapist. If a client will not agree to work with this formula, Sean ends the session and refunds the client's money. That's how important this is.

Epilogue. One Last Thing.... As it's only one page, it's an epilogue rather than a chapter. It's Sean's final piece of wisdom for applying the lessons in the book.

Resources. Sean lists books and movies "that shaped my life." All of these titles are familiar to me. He also lists excellent online resources for various issues.

This book is not one you want to miss. Get your copy today. If you are thinking, "Yeah, but..." then you desperately need it. Don't delay.

From the ConservativeMonitor.com:

Review by W. J. Rayment -- When I was in high-school and college, my goal was to do the least I could do to get an "A". I wanted to be good, but I never worked to be the best I could be. And that has carried out to the rest of my life. For that reason I have always done okay in life. I can look back now from the half-century mark and see a thousand what-ifs. I can also see that had I read Sean Stephenson's "Get Off Your But" then, I might have seen that if you allow yourself to be ordinary, your life will also be ordinary.

Of course, in the back of my mind, I always knew that was true. Being a conservative, I tend to believe that people are responsible for their actions. Even so, I haven't been good about finding an organized way to apply this understanding in a positive way in my own life. Sean Stephenson has found a way to do this for himself. In "Get Off Your 'But': How to End Self-Sabotage and Stand Up for Yourself", he communicates how he did it and how these lessons can be applied to anyone's life.

This is a how to book, almost a text book on how to live with happiness and confidence. It is broken out into six lessons. Each lesson deals with some aspect of life and human inter-action. A lesson begins with a story from Sean's own life and then draws general principles from that story that can be applied in the reader's own life. This is followed by assignments which should be carried out by the reader. These action items are not always easy to perform, but always to the point and geared to begin improving the reader's existence immediately. The reader is encouraged to keep a notebook that will help bring order to a messy life. The lesson ends with a case study drawn from his practice as a motivational speaker and consultant. These are poignant, sometimes humorous, but always apropos and thoughtful.

The stories Sean derives from his own life come from a man who has experienced much. Afflicted with a brittle bone disorder, Sean uses a wheel-chair to get around. I found the lesson titled, "Watch What You Say to Yourself" to have immediate application to my own life. Sean points out that we often beat ourselves up far worse than we deserve for mistakes made, especially minor mistakes. In the past, I have often referred to myself in a deprecating manner when I have committed some social faux pas. I bop myself on the head with the palm of my hand and say, "What an idiot", referring to myself in third person. In a way, this is self-destructive behavior. I have noticed, and Sean confirms this, that no one is going to remember these social errors a week later except me. By denegrating myself I am only undermining my self-confidence.

One of Sean's heroes is Bill Clinton. Sean Stephenson actually worked as an intern in the White House for a time. He calls Clinton one of the most dynamic people he has ever met. There is little doubt that he is correct on this score. Having been in close proximity with Clinton once myself (1992 in Seattle), I did find his presence commanding. (However, Clinton's charisma did not sway my vote, which was based on principle). Even so, there is little doubt that observing Bill Clinton can teach many lessons about how to live a successful life, whatever a person may think of his politics.

I found "Get of Your But", by Sean Stephenson to be intelligently written and insightful. It is interesting to me that I found every idea propounded in the book to be grounded in conservative thought, especially when Sean writes about taking personal responsibility for everything in our lives. Although he does mention physical attraction as a motivational factor a few times, this is not a book that I would be afraid to let my 13 year-old daughter read. It is positively motivational. I even found it influencing my own life. Rereading my margin notes, I find that it contained several "aha" moments when I realized something about my own life that I had never understood before. One of those moments came on the last page where Sean wrote, "Learning doesn't occur until a behavior has changed." This is an effective book because it not only teaches a person how to change his or her life for the better, it is also a motivator to do it!